How covid 19 has affected my life as an undergraduate.

I’m pretty sure everyone in the world has heard about covid 19 at this point although some people still choose to believe it’s a lie, but that’s a topic for another day.
Here in Lagos, our lockdown started officially on the 30th of March even though some people had been social distancing before then.
Schools were closed and most businesses were shut down during that period.
I have felt a lot of emotions these past few months.

• Initially, I was a little excited.

A couple of days before the lockdown was implemented, some university lecturers went on strike and my university was affected. Strike means no lectures so some of us were excited.
Honestly, I was happy.
I had been praying for a break because school was taking a huge toll on me. I wasn’t getting enough sleep and I was always tired during lectures, I ended up falling asleep at times. Plus the workload was crazy and I was not covering as much topics as I had hoped to. So when I heard lecturers were going on strike, I was glad. I felt that it would last for about 2 weeks tops and then academic work will resume again. 2 weeks would be enough to rest and catch up on school work I thought.


One week, into the strike, lockdown started. We were supposed to stay home for 2 weeks initially then 2 more weeks were added and now, almost 4 months later, we are still at home.
I spent the first few weeks resting and reading my school notes.
When I realized that school wasn’t resuming soon, I stopped reading.
For me personally, studying at home is very difficult. I was in boarding school for 6 years during my secondary education so home to me is a place to relax and unwind.

• Then, I became worried.

School had been closed for more than a month at that point. I couldn’t help but wonder how that would affect the academic calendar and what it meant for us as students.

Also, it didn’t seem like covid 19 was planning to make an exit. I heard about new cases everyday and the mortality rate was alarming. I was scared and the stories I read on social media weren’t really helping.

It started with racism and a few days later rape. I was very upset about issues and I had to take a few days off social media when it became overwhelming.

I remember going for walks in my estate just to clear my head and breathe.

• Later on, I became indifferent.


I had been home for about 3 months then. I was just taking each day as it came and I spent most of my time binge watching series and reading novels. I just wanted to disconnect and be in my own shell.

I asked a couple of friends about their experiences with covid 19 and how it as affected them as students and I got amazing responses.

Personally, covid 19 has affected my:


1. Education: I already talked about how difficult it is for me to study at home and how worried I am to know how this will affect the academic calendar.

2. Finances: For some undergraduates, our parents are our only sources of income. It’s easier to ask them for money when school is in session. Monthly allowance plus extra jara if you disturb them well enough. But it’s a little difficult to get money from them now.
According to them, there’s food at home and there’s TV so what do you need money for?

3. Social life: Physical relationships with people is almost non existent. Online socializing is the new norm now. No more parties, movie nights, get togethers or owambe which happens to be one of my first loves.
No hugging or shaking hands for now. It can be a little difficult for the social butterflies.

Asides all of that there have been some advantages.


1. Self-development- Most undergraduates haven’t been able to keep up with their hobbies and work on other things asides their education due to tight schedules, trying to build GPA amongst other things but a lot of us have found new hobbies, and worked on other projects that are not academic related during covid 19.
I have been trying to be more consistent with my blog and write more often than I would do if school was in session. I’ve also been learning how to apply makeup by watching videos on YouTube.


2. Ramadan- If there was anything I was happy about during the lockdown, it was the fact that I was able to fast at home and with my family. Honestly, I missed going to the mosque for taraweeh and Ramadan tafseer but fasting at home made it easy for me to pay more attention and perform more acts of worship. It would have been difficult to do a lot of that if school was in session.

3. Making life changing decisions- This period has had us sitting down to think about our lives and ask ourselves important questions. Are we making the right decisions? Are we doing what’s best for us? Where do we see ourselves in the next 5 or 10 years? Are we studying the right courses? What else can we do asides education?

4. Internet- these times has also made us realise the importance of the internet. Made us know that there’s more to it than chatting on WhatsApp and liking pictures on Instagram. A lot of people have been attending classes and tutorials online using zoom, telegram and other platforms. Other people have been learning a new language with the help of apps like duolingo. There are a lot of online stores to purchase items from and many more benefits.
Also YouTube has helped me a lot recently. I tend to watch videos on things I’m interested in and learn from them.

How has covid 19 affected you as an individual?
Please share your experiences in the comments. I’d love to read them.

To those who have family or friends who have lost their lives due to the pandemic, I pray God forgives them of their shortcomings and grant you the strength to bear the loss.

And to those fighting for their lives, I pray God grants you good health and long life.
Stay safe guys.


.
A’ishah.

Entitlement mentality. Are you entitled?

Me, me, me

Hii guys!
Welcome back to my blog.
Today I’ll be discussing entitlement mentality and I plan to shake some tables😁 I saw a movie a few days ago and at a point in the movie, the main character was very upset that her mother-in-law decided to give a large percentage of her fortune to charity instead of giving everything to her son who is the main character’s husband. She was so upset and went to fight and insult the mother-in-law. You’d have thought that she worked for the money. I sat there wondering why she felt so entitled and I decided to write about it.

• What is entitlement mentality?
An entitlement mentality is a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course.

Okay let’s take it from the basic unit of society – family.
In some places, it is expected that the richest person in the family takes care of everyone.
This makes some relatives believe it’s your responsibility to send their kids to school since you are rich.
Please sir, leave uncle Calistus alone. You cannot expect him to send all your kids to school and still give you money for upkeep every month. If he decides to do it, all right but if not, find a solution. You gave birth to your children not uncle Calistus.

Have you ever had someone slide in your DMs to ask you for money? 🤔
You’re still trying to figure out who the person is and how he/she got your digits and the next thing they start to tell you a story of how they are stranded and need you to send them some money.

Money is usually given in exchange for adding value and most people don’t understand this. Some people believe that you “owe” them things because you are properly dressed and it seems like you have a lot of money.
They’ll be like “auntie good morning o! Anything for the boys?” You smile and give some money, but the day you decide not to give anything, you become a stingy and wicked person. You’ll think they worked for the money!
Now, I’m not saying it is wrong to give. I know religion preaches compassion, kindness and all of that. The Quran talks about it as well but the Quran also says you shouldn’t stretch your hands to the utmost limit lest you’ll be blamed.


People also tend to be entitled when they are in relationships.
Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy and they decide to date. A day after they start dating, she says she needs a new phone and not just any phone now, she wants the latest iPhone. 2 weeks later, she wants a macbook, a month later she wants Peruvian hair. Now, if the guy decides to buy these things for her on his own free will, then no problem. But don’t go about thinking it is his duty to do these things for you and don’t go screaming and telling whoever cares to listen that he is a stingy and selfish person because he refused to buy you Peruvian hair or an iPhone. If he buys it for you, see it as a privilege not an obligation. I mean, how were you surviving before you met him?
Calm down bros😂. I can see you shouting yes and nodding your head.

Stop eet😂

What do you think you’re doing when you start to expect sex from her because you bought her a present last week? Thinking that giving a lady money automatically entitles you to her body is very wrong. You might as well go pick up a sex worker by the road side.
Relating sex in a relationship as a right is absolutely wrong. If she decides to have sex with you, see it as a privilege not a right.

Sometimes, we see people in need and decide to help them. But these people then become entitled over time and think it is your obligation to do those things for them.
I give Mr Ade a loaf of bread today, tomorrow he asks for a crate of eggs, 2 days later, he asks for a carton of beer.

We have to realise that the world owes us nothing and start focusing on what we can do to help ourselves.

No one owes you their attention and if they decide to give it to you, see it as a privilege.

Don’t believe that your needs and wants are more important than others and that they should be met at all cost even at the expense of other people’s needs and wants.


There are many causes of entitlement mentality;
One cause is arrogance. There are some people who believe they worth so much and that you have to give them whatever they ask you for because they deserve it.
Another cause is upbringing. Some people are brought up with all their needs met and this makes the believe that they can have what they want at any point in time without putting in any effort whatsoever.


To overcome entitlement mentality, we need to be content with what we have. Now don’t get me wrong. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive for more, it means we should be grateful for the little we have.
We need to be able to accept our reality.
Another way is to “give more to get more.” In other words, what you take is what you give. Do things that will make people want to do things for you.


Feeling entitled is something we do without realizing sometimes. I know I have been guilty of it on numerous occasions but we learn everyday right?
We have to pay attention to our behaviour and learn, unlearn and relearn when the need arises.
I hope we take time to access ourselves and make changes when necessary.
Till next time guys😊
Stay safe.
.
A’ishah.


PS: the name of the movie I was talking about is golden garden. It’s a Korean series 😁

Emotional bullies and toxic friendships.



Hi. Welcome back to my blog.

Sorry, it’s been a minute.
I’ve been busy doing absolutely nothing but Eid is what eid is.😜
Eid Mubarak to my Muslim brothers and sisters out there. I pray Almighty Allah accepts our fasting and prayers as an act of ibadah.

Eid Mubarak 🎊🎉

Well, today’s blog post is about emotional bullies.

What is emotional abuse?
emotional abuse is a form of abuse, characterized by a person subjecting or exposing another person to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
I know you’re already thinking that it’s not that deep right?☻☻
Well, we’ll see.
What is emotional bullying?
This is any bullying that is conducted by speaking, coercing, threatening to abuse, aggressively dominating  or intimidating or other use of the voice and does not involve any physical contact.


How do we identify emotional bullies?

Those people that are so hard to please, that take offense with everyone and everything.
They always interrupt and never let you speak or voice out your opinions.
These people make you feel small and insignificant.

People who always call you horrible and insulting names and make jokes about your insecurities.
I know it’s normal to tease our friends and all of that. But when they start getting uncomfortable or when they tell us to stop, we should. Some people go as far as telling strangers about their friends insecurities. It’s all fun and games until it isn’t.


Friends that can never support or go out of their way to do something nice for you but always expect you to put everything aside to meet their needs.

People that are always undermining and dismissing your perceptions.
They always have one bad thing to say about your ideas and dreams. People that tell you your goals are not attainable and are quick to disregard your achievements.

I know you know people like that.
People that make friendship seem so difficult. Friends that go about talking shit about you. That go about tarnishing your image to make them seem better in the eyes of others.


Friends that tell you horrible things about their other friends that you can’t help but wonder what they say about you behind your back.
Like sis, if she’s that bad why then are you friends with her 🤷‍♀️

What are the effects of being friends with an emotional abuser?

Emotional abuse may be difficult for the person on the receiving end to accept.
They may be in denial that the person they are in a relationship with is engaging in emotionally abusive behavior.
They may start to feel guilt, fear, confusion, helplessness, anxiety, depression, mood swings to name a few.

What to do about it.

1. Set boundaries: Standing up for ourselves and getting the abusers to stop. Ending the friendship and cutting ties with the person might be necessary in some cases.
2. Change priorities: Put your own priorities first. Don’t neglect yourself whilst taking care of others.
3. Get professional help: Seek professional help to strengthen your resolve, to prevent you from going back to that situation.


I think it’s time to let go of those people.
Say no to toxic relationships and friends.
We deserve to feel safe with our friends.
These people don’t care about us.
They only care about themselves. Me this, me that, me ,yen yen yen. Geddifok bro.
I mean, relationships should be about give and take right? Not just someone taking, taking and taking till there’s nothing left.
We can do better guys. Let’s check ourselves. Let’s do better.
Are we emotional bullies? Are we the toxic ones in the relationship?
Check yourself. It’s not just about pointing fingers and nodding your head.

If you find yourself holding people to unrealistic standards, always gossiping about and running down your friends, hating and being sad at your friends wins and successes… then you know what to do.
Change.
Do better.
No one likes toxic friends or emotional bullies.

Do we have emotional bullies as friends?
Are we emotional bullies?

Thank you for always clicking on the link and reading my rants and thoughts.
Don’t forget to share, conment and like this post.🤗

Tough decisions? Stay home or not?

I’m sure all of us have heard of the Corona virus or COVID -19 as some of us know it.
Most people didn’t think it’ll get so bad that we can’t even leave our houses. Schools have been closed and even some businesses are on temporary lockdown.
I’ve been hearing a lot of things on the news about the mortality rate, new cases being discovered and so on. I’ll be lying if I say I’m not scared.
My latest worry now is my hospital appointments. I’m supposed to go in for a test on Friday and a doctor appointment on Tuesday.
I’m worried. Should I just stay at home and miss this appointment knowing how important it is to my health and also knowing that it might take months before I can find another spot if I reschedule or should I damn the consequences and go for it anyway.
I’m between a rock and a hard place.
That aside, I’ve been in my house for about 3 days now without stepping out. I spend my time watching movies, eating, sleeping and doing absolutely nothing.
I just hope examinations and in courses don’t start immediately after we resume, because if that happens, well, to God be my glory.
How are you guys doing? Are you at home. Are you practicing social distancing or are you outside?
What are you doing with your time?
How is your compulsory holiday going?
Do share your thoughts and feelings.
Stay safe guys.
Take safety measures, wash your hands and sanitize as much as you can.
Also, remember to say a prayer for people who have the virus and medical practitioners who risk their lives on a daily to take care of these people.
Love,
iYeesha😊

Good health. Underrated???

Hi😊😊.

It’s been a while. I know I haven’t been consistent as I promised but these past few months have been testing. From resuming as a 200 level pharmacy student to the curve balls life has been throwing at my family and me.
It’s been a lot.
During the time I was away, I realized that life is really short and unpredictable and also that good health is underrated.
I school and live in lagos university teaching hospital and I walk past the hospital almost everyday. There are always cars in the hospital parking lot and even at night, there are people who spread wrappers and spend the night beside the hospital.
These people have family members in the hospital who are in different states of health and have different health challenges. Imagine having to sleep outside on a daily with the harsh weather conditions and all.
I don’t pray anyone of us experiences it.
Death is inevitable and no one knows when they will die.
Let’s try to live our best lives and have no regrets whatsoever.
Stay safe guys.
🙂
A’ishah.

PS: please say a prayer for those who were affected by the explosion at abule ado. And also countries really affected by the Corona virus.

You are welcome 🤗🙂

I decided to start a blog a few months ago. I had had the idea in my head for a while and I decided to just do it.
Hi. My name is A’ishah.


Writing for me is more than just putting words on paper. It’s a way of expressing my feelings and emotions, letting things out and sorting out my thoughts.
I’m a person who finds it hard to bottle things up. I always choose to say it and damn the consequences.
I usually say “do it with your chest”. That means do it without fear and with confidence.
That has actually put me in trouble a couple of times to be honest. But I always felt better knowing that I said what was on my mind and that I wasn’t dying silently.
Usually when something amazing or annoying happens to me, I call or text my friends and rant to them about it. But one night, I realized that they have lives of their own and that it’ll be selfish of me to expect them to drop everything and listen to me rant and talk about my issues.
That night, I decided to write them down instead. I felt so much better afterwards. Then I decided to create an Instagram account to post my write ups. I talked about it with some friends, got a lot of ideas and support from them and started it almost immediately.
(It’s @Dunni.writes if you want to check it out). I haven’t stopped writing since that day.
So this is me, taking another bold step by starting this.
This is supposed to be a personal blog so I’m going to be talking about anything and everything at the same time.
Thank you for clicking on the post. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing this.